Tom Palen,a broadcaster, pilot, writer, and our Guest Columnist! Archives
January 2025
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Bathing the Dog7/31/2024 I was in Bloomfield, Iowa, when I first saw one; I thought it was the dumbest thing I'd ever seen. I turned my car around to make sure I saw what I thought I had seen - a pet wash? Yep. Right there on Highway 63, just a short distance from the downtown square. Since then, I've seen many others, and I'd shake my head each time. "Why? Why not just bathe your dog at home. Good grief." I suppose for the same reason, most people don't wash their cars at home anymore. The car wash is more convenient.
Several years ago, my wife and I visited a small farm in northern Missouri, near the state lines of Iowa and Missouri. The farm has been in Melissa's family for many years. Although her family does not farm, they lease the land to an area farmer. When we visited, the farmer had cattle on the property. While we were engrossed in exploring the land, I kept calling our dog June to return to us. June was a border collie, blue heeler mix, and she really wanted to round up those cattle. Unbeknownst to me, June rolled in something mighty stinky in the cow pasture when we weren't paying attention. I used what was left in my water bottle to rinse off the bad stuff from June, then wiped down her coat with an old towel. My attempt to wash her off only made matters worse, almost as if I had reactivated the stench. It was everything we could do to ride in the car with her, even with all the windows down! It was awful! It was a long drive back to Ottumwa, and then I remembered Bloomfield has a pet wash on the highway. The drive to Bloomfield seemed pretty long as well. It was hot outside; I had the air conditioning on, but we had all the windows down because of old Stinky in the back of the car. I swear we hit every light red going through town to get to the north side, completely stopping all air movement. Gag! That day, I had my first experience with a pet wash in Bloomfield, Iowa, and I was impressed. Since then, I've used the one in Two Harbors, Minnesota, many times. I like the "pet wash" concept. It's more comfortable bathing the dog without bending over the tub. I like having an overhead, spring-loaded, constant-temperature water hose that is always right there for me and comes on with the gentle squeeze of the handle. Having the shampoo dispensed with the water eliminates the bottle and the need for a third hand. I am not wasting water while shampooing June's fur; the pet wash makes sense. The super easy clean-up is very nice, too. I want to put one in my basement. I asked June how she would feel about installing a pet wash in our home. She didn't see the need for one. She would rather not be bathed in the tub or the yard with a garden hose. In fact, she would rather not have a bath at all. June said everything would be fine if I just drove her to a lake once in a while, where she could chase a stick or a ball in the water and call it a bath. I called my brother Dan, the plumber, to inquire about a home pet wash. He told me they start at about $3,000 and go up from there. Wow. It only cost me about three bucks to wash the dog in Two Harbors. If I bathe the dog once a month, a basic home model would take eighty-three years to pay for itself. I decided I would just keep taking June to the pet wash in Two Harbors. As the years went on, June Bug passed away, and Nova Mae became a part of our family. Nova Mae is also a border collie and blue heeler mix. Nova Mae enjoys running through ditches and puddles of stagnant water, which smells nasty! What is it with this breed, and why do they like stinky stuff anyway? The pet wash in Two Harbors is in the same building as the car wash. The first time I took Nova Mae, she did just fine until the high-volume (very loud) air dryer came on in the automatic car wash bay. That scared the bejeebers out of Nova - so badly that I haven't taken her back. There is a leash about ten inches long at the pet wash to keep your dog from jumping out of the basin. Even though June would jump out of the bathtub at home and at the pet wash at every chance she got, I've always figured if something scares my dog that badly, I want her to be able to run and not feel trapped. June Bug and Nova Mae: the two dogs are so much alike in many ways and so different in others. June, loved to swim, but did not like getting a bath. On the contrary, Nova Mae doesn't mind a bath (she just doesn't like the water spraying on her face) but she only likes swimming if she can stand in the water. With June, I had to lift her into the tub and give constant commands to sit and stay; it was a battle to the end, and I didn't always win. On the other hand, I turn on the shower and tell Nova, "Let's take a bath, and she voluntarily walks into the shower. I learned other neat things from the pet wash about bathing a dog. I no longer apply shampoo directly to Nova's pelt. Instead, I mix the shampoo with about a gallon of warm water and wash the dog with a washcloth. The dog likes this method better because the shampoo rinses from her fur much quicker and more thoroughly. I also learned how to dry my dog. I tell Nova, "Shake, shake, shake," each time, she gives a big shake, removing most of the water from her head to the tip of her tail her own. Then, I use a towel to get what water I can. From that point, I will let her "air dry." From experience at the pet wash, I have learned not to use the hair dryer on my dogs; it's the equivalent of starting a fight. June despised the vacuum cleaner. (She once had a physical battle with a Dirt Devil.) The hair dryer at the pet wash sounded just like a vacuum. But I suppose some other dogs or pets would like the hair dryer. We had a cat when I was a bachelor living with my brother Gerard. (Gerard and I both had hair back then.) When the cat heard the hair dryer, she would run into the bathroom, hoping for a blast of warm air in her face. Then, she would jump on the sink, insisting on more! But we never tried to bathe the cat. The pet wash. What a cool concept! I've often wondered if anyone has ever attempted to take a cat to the pet wash, and if so, did they live to tell their story?
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