Duct Tape and Snickers

​I've heard it, and I'm sure you have, too. If you and I have both heard it, then most likely everyone knows it, and if everyone knows it, it must be true: You can fix almost anything with duct tape.
Duct tape has saved many situations. I've repaired broken boxes and broken windows. I have wrapped duct tape around a blown-out shoe. I attempted to seal the breach in my britches until I could get to Toni's Alterations on Market Street for an emergency repair. I've even known people to hem their pants with duct tape. Although I have not done it, I've seen people attempt to stop a plumbing leak with duct tape. (Everyone knows that black electrical tape works better on water leaks.)
I've used duct tape to fix my glasses when I didn't have white medical tape. Some paper towels and duct tape are just what the doctor ordered, or a sliced finger on a worksite. (Again, black electrical tape works better; it's more flexible on the finger, but I didn't have any.)
Duct tape has been the primary fabric in many Halloween costumes. Although it doesn't bend well at the elbow, wrist, knee, or waist, duct tape has wrapped many mummies. (I wonder how they go to the bathroom.) Communities have held races where boats had to be made of cardboard, or milk jugs that had to be fastened with duct tape. Its list of uses goes on and on.
I wonder how many pieces of furniture, in offices and at home, were held together with duct tape when the fabric gave out? Duct tape has been a big part of the upholstery industry since its invention. And how many boat, motorcycle, or snowmobile seats are duct taped at the seams? I've seen people who wouldn't have windows in their car or even a front seat to sit on if it wasn't for duct tape. Duct tape can fix anything.
A guy often parked his car on Main Street in Ottumwa. If I remember correctly, the car always looked good to me; it was a blue Chevelle about a '67 model. The car had very distinct stripes on the side, like a rainbow of different colors in the shape of a Z from the back to the front of the vehicle. It always reminded me of the band ZZ Top's car. I wondered if the guy who drove the Chevelle was a 'Sharp Dressed Man?' I digress. One day, I got close to the car.
It appeared to have rust holes that were covered with duct tape. Then, the whole car looked painted in blue latex house paint, probably with a roller! The stripes were made with colored duct tape! The guys did a great job; from across the street, it looked great. Another significant achievement for duct tape.
Duct tape is quite possibly the greatest invention since aspirin and sliced bread, so of course, it was invented by a woman, Vesta Stoudt. Vesta was from Illinois, but I've seen a museum when passing through Avon, Ohio – the duct tape capital of the world.
For all its attributes, duct tape cannot fix everything. For everything else, there are Snickers bars.
"Packed with roasted peanuts, nougat, caramel, and milk chocolate, Snickers Candy handles your hunger so you can handle things that don't relate to hunger at all." In fairness, I did not write that line; I found it on a Snickers website, but I could have easily written it. I love Snickers.
I figure a SNICKERS bar is like duct tape for the soul. Let me give you an example: I was shopping at the Aldi grocery store in Duluth. The young lady running the register looked like she was having a rough day. So, I picked up a SNICKERS bar at the checkout lane. After she rang up my groceries, I handed her the candy bar and said, "This is for you." She looked at me, somewhat puzzled, then asked me why? "You've been working hard, and I figured you deserve a treat on your break."
"Are you for real," she asked. I assured her I was.
"Here," I said, handing her my receipt. "You can have this to show your boss the Snickers was paid for." Then I smiled, "I just want you to know that your good work is both noticed and appreciated. Thank you." That's when the girl came flying around from the back side of the register.
"I just gotta give you a hug, mister," she said, embracing me. "No one ever came through my line and thanked me for doing my job – let alone bought me a Snickers! I love Snickers!" The younger cashier, who was a few inches taller than me, continued to squeeze the stuffin' outta me. Now, you can put the stuffing back in and patch the hole with duct tape, but to get the stuffing out – you're going to need a Snickers bar. A similar situation happened just the other day at Target in Hermantown.
Given the choice, I will take a live cashier over a self-check-out lane every time. That's what I did at Target.
I was the fourth person in line, but the cashier, Isabelle, was moving along, getting people checked out and on their way. The customer Isabelle was helping was meticulous in loading and rearranging her bags into her cart and then moving toward the front door.
As she finished with one customer, Isabelle greeted the next, "Did you find everything okay? Will you need any plastic bags today?" Isabelle rang up a couple of items and went to put them in a bag when she noticed the previous customer had set one of her bags back on the counter and left without it. The cashier called out, "Ma'am, you forgot one of your bags."
The previous customer was a little older gal, but she moved as swiftly as I did and was near the door. Isabelle held up the bag, calling again, "Ma'am…" but the woman did not hear her. Isabelle grabbed the merchandise bag with cat-like reflexes and sprinted to the front doors.
The automatic doors were already open for the lady when Isabelle caught up to her. The older lady looked puzzled and checked her cart. Then she smiled, accepted the bag, and went on her way. Isabelle rushed back to her register. I'm sure she felt good about what she'd just done – I would have.
"I'm sorry about that," the cashier said to the waiting customer. But the customer seemed perturbed as if inconvenienced that she had to wait a moment. The expression one has after doing a good deed immediately left Isabelle's face. The next customer said nothing about the situation, so I picked up a Snickers bar.
Isabelle greeted me, "Did you find everything okay? Will you need any plastic bags today?" She rang up each of my items and then reached for the Snickers bar.
I held the candy bar, "Can you ring this up separately, please?" After I paid my bill, Isabelle rang up the Snickers bar and handed it to me with the receipt. I handed the Snickers bar back to Isabelle.
She took the candy bar, asking, "Did you want that in a bag, sir?"           
"No," I said. "The Snickers bar is for you for doing such an outstanding job." Isabelle looked confused. Maybe she thought I was poking fun at her, but I was not. "It didn't bother me in the least bit to wait for sixty seconds while you ran that bag to the front door for that other customer."
My comment caught her off guard. "Are you serious," she asked, looking at the Snickers.
"Absolutely. I'm glad you did," I said. "A lot of people would have just tucked the bag under the counter 'in case' the lady came back, but not Isabelle." I smiled, "You went the extra distance, running the bag to the front door. The way that lady's face lit up, I could tell you made her day, and that made my day, too. So the Snickers is for you."
Isabelle gasped, holding the Snickers bar in her hands over her mouth. She tried to say something, but nothing came out. I think she was getting teary-eyed, and I was too.
Here, this kid was just doing her job; when something happened, she made a difference, making her feel good. Then her spirits got knocked down, and then no one noticed. With a simple Snickers bar, Isabelle's emotions shot right back to the top – where she deserves to be. Needless to say, I left Target feeling pretty swell.
I do the Snickers bar thing at checkout counters quite frequently, and this was a good experience, but I have an even better story.
You've heard stories where someone went to a garage sale, bought a picture frame for a couple bucks, then went home and found a million-dollar painting behind the ugly picture in the front of the frame. That kind of happened to me but in a different way. I almost tossed something that turned out to be very valuable.
When we don't have immediate use for something, we tend to quickly deem it to be worthless and throw it in the trash. At least I do; it avoids clutter by doing so. Still, I hate throwing something away that might be used later. Especially something brand new. That was the dilemma I faced one day. Bear with me as I explain how this happened.
When we remodeled our home several years ago, we put tile on the kitchen walls behind the counter. The additional ¼ inch thickness of the tile meant the ¾ inch bolts that come with an outlet would not be long enough. I would have to buy new one-inch bolts, and so I did.
When installing the outlets, I couldn't bring myself to throw away the original bolts. Gosh, they're brand new, I thought to myself. So, I put them all in a small True Value paper bag...another item I kept since I was sure I would have use for it later.
That particular day, I was cooking for the assisted living home in Silver Bay. On my break, I went home to look at the work I had completed in our kitchen. There sat that bag of bolts on the counter. I began debating with myself, and I was answering!
"Just throw them away; you're never going to use them," I said. "I might someday," I replied. "They are worthless." I reasoned. "But what if I need one down the road?" I questioned. "You'll lose them before you use them; throw them away," I said, "Besides, they're eight cents. You can afford to buy one if you ever have a need. Avoid the clutter and toss them." I justified. "Okay, I will." I decided and walked the little bag to the trash can.
As I lifted the lid, a light bulb appeared over my head. I had a brilliant idea. I slammed the plastic lid, took the bag, ran to my car, then drove into town.
I went into Julie's Hardware with the small bag of bolts. Making my way to the back of the store, I figured I would find Julie working in her office. I picked up a specific item along the way.
Standing in her doorway, I asked, "Are you in charge of negotiating deals today?"
She answered with a curious and understandably skeptical look, "I don't know. What did you need?
That's exactly what I wanted her to ask. I had rehearsed my sales pitch while driving to the store. I planned to move fast, making her an offer she couldn't refuse.
"I have this bag of 6/32 bolts – ¾ inch long. They came with the outlets I bought for my kitchen, but since I installed ceramic tile, I needed longer bolts. I already bought the new bolts from you, but I don't want these bolts to go to waste." I took a big breath, then rushed back into my spiel.
"There are thirty-five bolts in this bag. You sell this identical bolt for eight cents a piece, making this bag of bolts worth two dollars and eighty cents retail."
I was talking fast, so she couldn't say no...yet. I held up the item I picked up along the way. "On your shelf, you have these snack bags of bite-size Snicker's bars, regularly priced at $1.79, currently on sale for just 79 cents. I am prepared to trade you this bag of bolts for one bag of Snicker's Bite-size candy bars." I finally stopped talking, awaiting her response.
Still puzzled, Julie looked at me, then reached into the bag, pulling out a bolt to inspect it. "They're all brand new, ma'am; never had a screwdriver on them," I assured her, then went for the textbook style close. "I'm sure you can see this is a very attractive offer financially. What do you say? Do we have a deal?"
After briefly examining the bolts, Julie looked at me and said, "Why not? Let's call it a deal." I thanked her, left her with the bag of bolts, took my bag of Snickers, and headed toward the front of the store.
Passing the sale shelf, I picked up two more bags of bite-size Snickers. For just 79 cents each, I couldn't resist. At the front counter, I told the cashier I needed to pay her for two bags of candy. "What about the third bag?" Jesse asked.
"Oh, I traded Julie a bag of bolts for that bag of Snickers. It was a good deal for both of us." I explained, adding, "You can call and ask her if you want."
"That's okay, I believe you," Jesse replied. I paid her for my candy and left.
On the way to my car, I was snickering to myself. (pun intended) I was going to throw those bolts away. Instead, I used them to net a bag of delicious bite-size candy bars - not just candy bars - Snickers bars! I patted myself on the back for a job well done.
I drove back to the assisted living home. Two residents were sitting with guests, enjoying the nice weather. I approached them, opened the package, and extended it toward them, asking, "Snicker's bar?"
"Oh wow, Snickers!" Said the first, reaching into the bag. "I'll have one." Said another. "Yes, please." Said the third. "No, thank you." Said the fourth, explaining, "I can't have peanuts." BAM! Three big smiles, just that easy.
Inside, I offered a Snickers to the boss, co-workers, and residents. Most of them gladly accepted - resulting in lots of smiles. When just one tasty morsel was left in the bag, I asked the staff nurse if a particular resident could have one. "Sure." She said, "If she wants one, there isn't any reason she can't have one."
I offered the last piece of candy to the lady. "What is it?" She wanted to know.
"A little Snicker's bar," I answered.
"A Snicker's bar? For me," She asked in a chipper voice.
"Yep. It's for you," I said.
She smiled as she took the last piece from the bag. "Thank you!" She said, "I like Snickers." Her beautiful smile blossomed from ear to ear when she put the candy in her mouth. It was very touching.
I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of seeing a 101-year-old woman smile that big, especially over something so simple, but let me tell you...it was a million-dollar smile if I've ever seen one.
Come to think of it, everyone who took a piece of that candy returned a million-dollar smile.
About sixteen pieces of candy were in my bag of bite-sized Snicker bars. That means my little bag of bolts was not worthless...in fact, it was worth about $16 million. I certainly got the better end of that deal, and you won't get that kind of smilage from a roll of duct tape.
By the way, Vesta Stoudt, a woman, invented duct tape. Although I don't know who created the Snickers Bar, it must have been a man. There's a book called Women Are from Venus and Men Are from Mars; Snickers Bars come from Mars, and I think Snickers has done more for humanity than duct tape.