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Electronic Gadgets

12/28/2022

 

I talk about ours a lot. Some people have asked me, "What is a three-seasons room?" It's a room that’s not heated. Instead, a door closes the space off from the house to keep the warm air inside the house during extreme weather. We only use these rooms during fair weather in the spring, summer, and fall. (Thus, the name, three-seasons room.) The room also has a lot of windows. In our case, over ninety percent of the three exterior walls have large windows.
Having so many windows give us an open view of the yard, the woods, and the wildlife that passes through. However, without heat, the windows make the room colder in the winter. We use our three-seasons room more than we anticipated. Leaving the door open allows some heat to circulate into the room. Albeit chilly, it's a comfy room to sit in with an afghan, throw or fleece blanket. Or better yet, curled up with a warm dog or cat.
My dog Nova Mae and I fell asleep on the futon in our three-seasons room while watching old episodes of M*A*S*H. I woke up cold at six in the morning, even under the blankets, with Nova sleeping snuggly at my side.
Outside, the wind was strong. I could hear every gust pressing on the windows and doors as if trying to get into the house. The wind howling over our chimney cap channeled its sound down the flue and through our woodstove; it sent a lonesome chill through me.
The television was dark, so I assumed my wife had turned it off before bed. I looked out the windows into the frigid dark morning.
I saw bright beams of light flickering through the pine trees on the west side of our corner lot. Were these UFOs? It looked more like someone was walking down the road with a flashlight, shining it into the branches.
Through the window, I can see into our kitchen. The soft blue light from the appliance clocks was not glowing. I started putting the pieces together: it's cold because the furnace is not running. The TV is off, and the appliance clocks aren't glowing. Conclusion: our electricity is out. It took a bit to figure this out because I was very sleepy.
Nova declined my offer to come under the blanket. Instead, she kept watching the strange lights in the trees. Finally, I pulled the covers over my head, returning to my slumber. There was no need to report the outage to Cooperative Light & Power because the lights I saw were their crews looking for a bad fuse, a blown transformer, or a downed power line.
Nova moved to the other side of the futon, and I rolled over. I could tell she was sitting up, looking out the window. I pulled the covers off my head and looked out the window this cold is a blessing… with her. The crews had moved to the northeast side of our property, again shining their spotlights into our trees. Nova was concerned when they started a chainsaw in the dark. "It's okay, baby girl," I assured her. "They're working to restore our power."
The crew only cut for a few minutes, then shut off the saw. "That's a good thing, they must have found the problem,” I said to my dog. “Now go back to sleep." Apparently, it was an easy fix, as I soon heard their truck pulling away. It was odd that I didn't hear the furnace come on after a few minutes, so I got up to check things out. Nova followed me.
The thermostat was set at sixty-eight, but the house was only fifty-one degrees, and the kitchen was still dark. "This is not good," I said with concern. "There must be a bigger issue."
Northern Minnesota had very heavy snowstorms while we were out of town last week. Our neighbor told me we had been without power for three days. At this point, I wasn't sure what to expect.
People talk about bad luck, but I've never given much credence to luck, good or bad. I think of bad luck as circumstances that need to be dealt with, whether or not we're ready to face them. This was one of those situations, but I didn't see a bad side. While thinking of all the things I cannot do without electricity, I began counting my blessings.
It was bitterly cold, and I had to go outside for more firewood. I looked at the big piles of neatly stacked wood, "There's enough wood to heat the house for two years," I said, while carrying in an armload.
I wanted coffee but couldn't use the coffee maker. Besides, our water comes from a well, and the pump won't run without electricity. So we keep jugs of fresh water on hand for such an occasion. Unfortunately, a few were empty, but Melissa refilled the empty bottles yesterday.
I smiled as I reached into the upper cabinet and took down the percolator. Our gas stove has electronic ignition, but I can still light the burners with a match. Or, I could brew coffee on the hot woodstove. "What would go well with this coffee for breakfast?"
I opened the freezer and took out a homemade fruitcake I'd won in a bet with my aunt Di. "Even this cold weather is a blessing," I told Nova as I sliced a piece of fruitcake. "If our power is off for days, I can set the frozen food from the freezer outside on the deck. Lord knows it isn't going to thaw out there!" Nova Mae and I shared a good laugh about that.
It was still dark outside, and I had no idea what the time was. I glanced at the clock on the stove, but.… Just then, the antique wall clock chimed once for the bottom of the hour. It was 6:30 am. At the first sign of daylight, Nova Mae and I bundled up and walked down where the CLP crew was working earlier. The scene was not good.
We lost three big pine trees in the high winds overnight. The winds must have been extremely strong to uproot three trees together! The power lines held the trees at a forty-five-degree angle, keeping them from falling over entirely, but also took out our electricity. "We may be without lights for a while," I said. "There's nothing we can do about it now. Let's go inside."
I started thinking ahead; what could we make for dinner that didn't require power? I had previously prepared and frozen a package of seasoned chicken with broth. "We have eggs, flour, and a rolling pin. We'll make chicken and noodles." Nova liked that idea.
Melissa was still in bed and said she was cold. So I told her the power was out.
In the old days, folks heated bricks on the woodstove, then put them under the blankets to warm the bed. In modern times, we heat corn bags in the microwave oven. No power? No problem. I set a corn bag on a rack on the woodstove. It warmed up nicely, and I took the corn bag to the bedroom, placing it under the covers.
"I think we've become too dependent on electricity," I told my dog. "These electronic gadgets are over-rated."
Melissa and I had been looking forward to a quiet Christmas Eve together. We planned to watch a movie but couldn't do that without power. So instead, we would put together the puzzle I got her for Christmas, or maybe we would open the chess set her parents gave us for Christmas. Then, we could play games by candlelight. Unfortunately, all we have are those tiny tealight candles that are not very bright. No problem.
My wife has two antique lanterns. They're not just for decoration, she keeps them in working order, and Melissa has plenty of wicks and a good supply of lamp oil. So this was going to be a beautiful, genuinely old-fashioned Christmas Eve. We could even wind up the Victrola and play Christmas records.
Shortly after seven a.m., another CLP crew arrived. I heard them cutting away at the trees. I didn't want to go outside because it would break my heart to see these beautiful mature trees coming down. So I finally went out around seven-thirty.
It was one degree above zero, with a wind chill of minus twenty-eight. Vince, one of the CLP workers, said the first crew didn't have equipment large enough for this job. "We got off work at three-thirty this morning and got called back in at seven," he said. "It's been a long couple of weeks."
The man in the aerial bucket continued cutting. Then he lowered his boom so Vince could hand him a bigger chainsaw. I cringed as the huge tree top made a loud cracking noise, then went crashing to the ground on the far side of the power lines. Large branches were snapped away like twigs as the top came to rest. I said in jest, "You guys can just leave that there; I'll clean it up in the spring."
Vince laughed. "We cut trees down; we don't remove them."
I told Vince how Melissa and I planned to have a wonderful, old-fashioned Christmas Eve without electricity.
"I don't want to ruin your Christmas," Vince said, "but we'll have your power back within thirty minutes." Although I was very grateful to have the power restored so quickly, I was saddened by this. I was very cold and walked back to the house. Within a few minutes, the microwave made some funny chimes, all the clocks began flashing "12:00," and the kitchen lights came on. The furnace didn't come on, but the woodstove had warmed the house to a toasty seventy-four degrees.
I drove into Zup's grocery for eggnog. I ran into our friend Colleen and told her how Melissa and I would spend the evening without power. "Oh, that sounds absolutely wonderful," she said with admiration.
"Yeah," I replied, "but the CLP guys went and got our power back on right away, spoiling my plans."
Not missing a beat, Colleen said, "Well, you know where the breakers are, right?" We shared a good laugh about that. I admired her for quickly thinking of a way to salvage our wonderful, power-free evening.
With the lights back on, Melissa decided we would watch the movie after all. She had purchased a special Christmas gift for us. So we could watch movies on the futon in the three-seasons room, even on bitterly cold nights, while staying cozy and warm under our new electric blanket.
Melissa spread the blanket over the futon, plugged it in, and turned it on. The lights came on, but unfortunately, the blanket produced no heat. The brand-new electric blanket was defective. "I think we've become too dependent on electricity," I said to my wife. "These electronic gadgets are over-rated. Should I put a couple of bricks on the wood stove?" We shared a good laugh about that.
Instead, I grabbed a fleece blanket for the couch, and Melissa climbed under the throw in her favorite chair. We watched the classic movie, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. It's a movie where two guys struggle to find a way to get home for Thanksgiving, despite the adversities and obstacles that get in their way. Come to think of it, the movie has a beautiful message for Christmas, too.
The storms have come and passed; the winds have calmed; the power is restored. We will plant new trees for our grandchildren to enjoy. The memories created during a power outage, caused by the wind and those three trees, will last forever.

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Banana Butts

12/21/2022

 
We are creatures of habit with established routines that we practice at certain times of each day: A routine for getting up (which will vary depending on if it's a school/workday or a day off.) We have a routine for dinner time and a routine for getting ready for bed. I even have a routine for feeding Nova Mae and Edgar Allan. Our routines can be altered a little to meet the moment's needs, but they are seldom eliminated.
While Nova Mae and I have been working in Florida for the past couple of weeks, my wife Melissa, and our cat Edgar Allan, have been visiting her parents in South Carolina. As a result, my routines have been altered with 650 miles between us, but they still get carried out.
When I get up in the morning, at home or on the road, I say my daily prayers, go for a short walk with Nova, then make breakfast. Breakfast is supposed to be the most important meal of the es day for people and pets.
I usually put a scoop of kitty crunchies in Edgar's bowl first to keep him from meowing and waking my wife. (I'm not supposed to, but I usually sneak a "Greenie" treat for Edgar to enjoy with his breakfast.) Next, I give Nova Mae her breakfast, then fix mine. But, of course, pets are no different than people because they have their routines, too.
Edgar will eat the treat first, then his cat food. If he drops a piece of food outside his bowl, he will look for it until he finds it. Nova is a rather fussy eater who prefers to have all her food on the floor before eating.
First, Nova will sniff the food in her bowl, then walk away and follow me to see what I'm having, just in case there is a better offering. She goes through this routine daily, whether at home or on the road.
At home, I eat oatmeal each morning; when traveling, it's Cheerios. Regardless of where I am, I like fresh fruit in my cereal.
While preparing my breakfast, Nova Mae will stay at my feet in case something falls on the floor. We don't give her "people food," but Nova does get healthy treats like fresh fruit and veggies.
The dog loves blueberries, so I give her a couple. She waits patiently as I remove the tops from the strawberries; she likes the fruit and the little green leaves. Nova likes apples and raspberries too. She will tolerate an orange slice, although citrus is not her favorite.
Nova really likes carrots, beans, and peas. I can't think of a fruit or veggie she doesn't like. Oh yes, kiwi. Nova doesn't care for kiwis - or cucumbers, but she will practically do backflips for a piece of banana.
Bananas have a distinctive smell that draws her attention any time of day. Even if she is sound asleep, Nova can hear a banana being peeled (or, more likely, she smells it) and comes trotting into the kitchen with anticipation to claim her share. Likewise, if I am slicing a banana on cereal or just eating one, she knows she will get the last piece; we call this the banana butt.
I squeeze easily on the outside of the peel, and the last piece will come loose, just like pinching the tail on a shrimp. Nova will gently nibble inside the peel to get that last bite. I've created a banana monster.
One day while traveling, I stopped to fill the van with gasoline. Unfortunately, the pump was out of paper, so I had to go inside for a receipt. Near the register, there was a display of bananas. They were on sale; sixty-nine cents each, two for a dollar. Usually, bananas aren't discounted until they have brown spots and are nearly ready to make banana bread. But these were beautiful, bright yellow bananas at a great price. So, I grabbed two, paid for them, and walked back to the van.
I set the fruit on the dashboard and boasted what a great deal I got on bananas. "We will share them later," I told Nova. Then, I started to drive away. "Darn it," I said, "I was so excited about the bananas that I forgot to get my gas receipt." Nova and I shared a good laugh about that.
I pulled into a parking space and ran inside. The cashier held up a slip of paper, "You forgot your receipt." We were soon on the road again. Nova was tired and went to the back of the van to sleep.
About fifteen minutes later, I reached for a banana, but they were gone! Both of them! I glanced behind me. Nova was not sleeping.
While I was in the C-store, Nova swiped both bananas, stashing them in the back. She had them hidden under a packing blanket like buried bones. Then, she waited until I was driving to dig in. "Nova Mae! Stop eating those bananas," I ordered. She glanced up at me, then delightfully resumed chowing down on a banana as if she didn't hear me.
"Nova, leave it," I said more firmly, but the dog has selective hearing. I was worried that she would get sick, so I pulled off the interstate at the next exit, parking on the shoulder. I was too late. The dog was a satisfied mess.
Nova is a fussy eater. She shredded the peels but didn't eat them. Instead, Nova had gnawed through the skins, eating the inside of both bananas. The floor was covered with disgusting banana goop. Nova had banana mush all over her face and in her fur. Like a little kid with chocolate all over their face and hands, she was contently licking her paws.
I got very nervous when her tummy gurgled and contracted several times. "You better not do it," I warned her. Fortunately, it was just a burp, but bananas have a distinct smell. "That's really nasty, Nova." I wiped up the floor with Windex and a paper towel. Then wetted a towel with my bottled water to clean her fur. Nova had a queasy look on her face.
"If you throw up in this van, you're going to be in big trouble, dog." Not trusting the look on her face, I fastened her leash, and we went for a walk. Nova didn't get sick; as soon as I was fairly sure she wasn't going to, we got back on the road. I learned that day not to leave bananas where Nova can reach them; two whole bananas will give a puppy a bad case of the trots.
About twenty minutes later, Nova came up between the front seats. "Dad, I don't feel so good." So, we pulled over. Twenty minutes later, "Dad, my tummy hurts." So, we pulled over. Twenty minutes later, "Dad, I think I have to go again." So, we pulled over again. Twenty minutes later, "Dad.…."
"That's what you get for stealing my bananas," I told her as we pulled off at the next exit. I laughed at her, "Girl, you done gave yourself a bad case of banana butt!" (Acceptable grammar as we were in the south.) Then, I assured her, in jest, "This, too, shall pass." We shared a good laugh about that - then pulled over again.
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Lawn Sprinklers

12/15/2022

 
I took Melissa and our cat Edgar Allan to visit her parents in South Carolina. Meanwhile, Nova Mae and I continued to Florida. I've been trying to get down to Tampa to help my cousin with some house repairs. However, being one who enjoys cold weather much more than hot, I did not want to work in Florida in the summer. So, December is a good month for a northern Minnesota man to visit Florida. However, the southern climate and lifestyle differences still required some acclamation, even in the winter.
We were driving in South Carolina when I smelled a sweet fragrance in the air. It was a familiar scent, but I couldn't place it for sure. Finally, as we came around the corner, I blurted out, "Look, honey! That guy is mowing his lawn! It's December; where's his snow blower?" Minnesotans are not ccustomed to seeing people cutting grass in December.
In Florida, the daytime highs were in the upper seventies and lower eighties, and it was humid. A little too warm for my liking, but the local folks thought it was great. I shouldn't complain; we were working in an air-conditioned building. I learned to adjust quickly and found the cool nights quite pleasant.
The neighborhood was different at night. The cityscape lights reflected on the calm bay water. Boats decorated with Christmas lights passed quietly, and cool breezes came in from the Gulf of Mexico. Nova and I only take short potty walks during the day. Then after the sun set, we’d take advantage of the cooler evenings for our two-mile walks. The night walks are full of adventure.
We were walking through the quiet residential area when Nova suddenly started hopping around in the grass, tugging and pulling on her leash like a crazy dog! At first, I thought maybe she had seen a rattlesnake or something. But, then, I nearly died laughing when it occurred to me what was the matter.
The neighbor's lawn sprinkler systems came on, startling Nova Mae. (They water their lawns at night so they can mow them during the day. Go figure.) The sprinkler heads are very low to the ground, so the blades will clear them when mowing. The heads on the sidewalk's edge are aimed at the lawn, so I didn't get wet. However, Nova, walking in the grass, caught the full spray from many directions. I don't know why it alarmed her as it did.
We've used a squirt gun or spray bottle at home to train Nova. For example, if she tries to eat the sunflower seed in the bird feeder, we will give her a squirt of water. Unfortunately, that training method was short-lived. Nova soon learned to lap the water stream in midair with her tongue. She was just as quick to try catching the water from the sprinklers.
By the third night of walking, Nova anticipated the sprinklers coming on. She would run and play in the water as if they had been activated solely for her enjoyment. Nova is an intelligent dog who wasted no time locating the source of the water. She would snap and bite at the water from the sprinkler head; sometimes, stomping them with her foot.
Placing her foot on the water head would change the direction of the spray. I'd been soaked more than once due to Nova's antics. I think she was doing it intentionally. Last night, she got me again: "Come on, Nova Mae," I complained, "You're getting my pants all wet!"
Nova laughed with vengeful delight, “It’s not so funny when the spray bottle is in the other paw now, is it?"
I ordered her, "Nova Mae! Leave it!"
"That's right," she said while adjusting her foot to continue sending showers of water my way. "Go for some more of that irresistible sunflower seed, Dad." She was having the time of her life. Just then, the sprinkler system shut off.
Nova looked as if she'd seen a ghost. "Uh-oh," she said, then ran away from me, knowing her water gun was out of ammo. When she reached the end of the leash, she jerked the handle out of my wet hand.
The hard plastic handle bounced and skidded across the sidewalk as the leash recoiled to her, standing in the wet grass. I growled, "Nova, sit!" The canine sat while I walked over to pick up the dog leash.
The lawn was saturated, and I could feel the water seeping into my mesh-top tennis shoes. I was soaked from head to toe. The night temperatures were in the low sixties, and when you're wet, that's cold – even in Florida.
I couldn’t stay mad at Nova; she was just having fun. Finally, I picked up the leash handle from the grass and gave her a rub on her wet head. "Come on, you goofball. Let's go home." With each step I took, I could feel the water sloshing inside my shoes, gushing between my toes.
I enjoyed the Christmas lights on different houses as we walked toward the apartment. They were pretty, but to me, they're just not the same without snow. So, I started singing, "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know. Where the treetops glisten, and children listen, to hear sleigh bells in the snow…."
Back at the house, I dried Nova with her towel; then, I took a hot shower. I stood under the showerhead, thinking about the people watering their lawns. It still seemed odd to me to be running lawn sprinklers in December, but this is Florida – not Minnesota.
Ah, Minnesota; home. Suddenly I felt lonely, maybe a little homesick. So, I started singing again because everyone sings in the shower, right? "I'll be home for Christmas; you can count on me. Please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree…."
In a week, Nova and I will head north. First, we'll pick up Melissa and Edgar Allan in South Carolina, then drive to Minnesota; it's the better share of two thousand miles from here to home. I smiled as it occurred to me: Minnesotans also use lawn sprinklers in the winter. But we don't use them to make the grass grow.
Driving on I-35, just south of the twin cities, I pass Buck Hill Ski Area in Burnsville, Minnesota. They frequently have their giant sprinklers running to make snow.
Snow is a meteorological phenomenon that has a powerful effect on everyone. Minnesotans like it so much that we use lawn sprinklers to make more snow for playing. Meanwhile, many people migrate to Florida (and other southern states) to escape the snow.
Without snow, Floridians are forced to use their lawn sprinklers to grow grass because they apparently like mowing their lawn all year. But, Florida lawn sprinklers are also a great source of evening entertainment for crazy dogs visiting from Minnesota.
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