Go to Your Room

I think every parent has done it, became frustrated with a child and ordered them, “Go to your room.”  So, the kid goes to their room where they keep the best of their toys, books, games, maybe a TV and other exciting things. Being sent to your room. Has it ever really been an effective discipline? In some cases, it could be considered a reward.
Case in point: I don’t know any mother raising children, who wouldn’t love to be sent to their room. “Are you kidding me?” they will say with hope, “Sending me to my room for an hour or more – preferably more” Moms relish the very thought of being sent to their room.
To most women, with or without kids at home, being sent to their room is an opportunity for a much needed, mid-afternoon nap; some quiet time with a book and maybe a glass of wine. (Hey, it’s her room. She can have wine in there if she wants to.)
I think we can assume it is not punishment for kids nor moms to be sent to their room. But what about men? Where do you send a man? I don’t know the answer to this question, but I’ve got an idea.
The other day while traveling on I-24 through Paducah, in the beautiful state of Kentucky, I saw a sign for Husband Road just one mile ahead. I thought this sounded like a place where wives can send their husbands for some remedial training.
She’ll give you a stern talking to – asking you questions she knows the answers to. “You didn’t clean the garage like I asked you to?” You had good intentions, but how could you clean the garage? Your buddies were driving by, saw the garage door open and stopped to talk about baseball for a few minutes. Naturally you wanted to be a good host and offered them a cold beverage and before you knew it, the afternoon was gone. What choice did you have? You certainly didn’t want to come off showing anything less than good hospitality.
There are lots of scenarios that might include promises to clean the basement or rain gutters. Fix the garbage disposal or vacuum cleaner; replace a leaky faucet or a bad light switch. All different situations and yet the same basic thing.
Maybe you did something you shouldn’t have done – or worse yet, forgot something big, like a birthday, anniversary, etc...  There was a day when any of these things would have landed you in the proverbial “Dog House.”  I guess the dog house has been replaced by Husband Road.
If your wife knew about Husband Road, she’d shake a finger at you, “You mister. You are going to Husband Road for some retraining. Go on now, go pack a bag because that’s where you’re going! This will teach you a lesson!”
All these thoughts made me consider sprucing up my own act, lest I should be sent there. I decided to check it out for myself, in order to forewarn my friends that such a place really exists. I turned off at exit 11.
One building in particular had my attention. It took the shape of an old river steamboat with fancy smoke stacks, each topped with a crown. There was a big paddle wheel of sorts on each side and a balcony ran all around the second floor. I got closer to read the sign on the front of the building. “Four Rivers Harley Davidson.” Humph. A Harley dealership? On Husband Road? I was confused.
Exploring further, I found the Warehouse 11 Bar and Grille with plenty of outdoor seating, next to the bike shop. Then there was the Range America Gun Shop with an indoor firing range. On the other end of Husband Road is Power Sports of America – a Can Am cycle dealership. They also sell those really cool Polaris Sling Shots. Wow! This was just the kind of place a man would like to be sent to “think about what you just did.”
I was going to write a story about Husband Road, but then thought maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe this place is a secret haven the men of Paducah, Kentucky don’t want the girls to know about. I mean to say, I know a lot of woman who ride motorcycles, like to fire their guns and toss back an occasional shot with a chaser.  Nope. I’m not going to be the one to let the cat out of the bag. I should leave this subject alone.
Men, go ahead and send your wife to her room once in a while, she’ll appreciate the time off. While she’s in there you may want to finish cleaning the garage, mowing the lawn or whatever task is at hand, lest you be sent to Husband Road.
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